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Archive for September, 2009

How to Bring the Topic of Swinging Up

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

The very basic question about swinging would have to be on how you can bring the topic of swinging up and persuade your partner to join. This is simply a classic question, and a lot of swinging couples dealt with the awkwardness of the subject once in their experience. So how can you bring up the topic of swinging in a conversation with your spouse?

The approach you must take is a loving and responsible one. Saying things about how you would like to have sex with someone other than your spouse will surely hurt their feelings and it will not get you anywhere. Probe questions such as “have you ever fantasize about having sex with other people?” followed by a loving gesture that it is not a trick question will do the job almost every time. You will be able to determine whether they are interested or not just by watching how they answer this question carefully.

Remember, you should never push your spouse into swinging. Your partner needs to understand the loving and trusting nature of the lifestyle and commit to it voluntarily. Otherwise, the whole experience will be a definite relationship breaker. Be sensitive as you explain to them about swinging and how both of you can benefit from the lifestyle. Answer their questions objectively and let them be comfortable enough to tell you about their fantasies as well. If the responses are positive, you can talk more about the lifestyle and find resources that can help you and your partner understand swinging even more.

First Swingers Club Visit: Going on a Trial Run

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

So you and your spouse are ready to swing, and you know exactly what each of you wants from the lifestyle, what next? At this point you may be deciding to go to a swinging event or swingers clubs. That is a solidly good move, but you need to make sure that it went smooth to avoid devastating trauma. The best way to do it is to agree that the first visit to a swingers club is a trial run.

A trial run is a good way to get familiar with the ambience. Both of you need to agree that the visit will only be about checking the situation and the people out; there will be no rush at all, and walking away without doing anything is completely acceptable. By agreeing to this term, you can eliminate nervousness often occurs when you are visiting a swingers club for the first time. I have advised a lot of new swinging couples to take this approach and they ended up feeling comfortable enough to actually engage on sexual adventures on their first visit. It is about removing the tensions so that both of you can feel completely comfortable with the visit.

If an opportunity comes up and your partner is hesitant, don’t do it. Just tell the other swingers that your spouse is not yet comfortable with swinging on the first visit and that your goal was just to check the ambience out. They will understand completely and you will be able to develop your partner’s trust and the level of comfort to the lifestyle.